Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
