so that wasnt chicken after all
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
