he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
