New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
