I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
