It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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