he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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