He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize