You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize