Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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