youre lurking in front of me
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
