there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
