She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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