she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
