Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
