sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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