it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
