I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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