Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
