What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
