I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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