Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
