She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
