I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
