So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i believe in u and ur pee
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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