loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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