I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
