Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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