Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
