The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
