singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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