I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
