but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
