I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
