Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
