wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
