I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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