Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
