we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
