do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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