tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
