As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
