so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Still dying that you shit outside
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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