doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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