How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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