Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i out mim tonsoeep
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