This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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