You can't special order awesome
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
