I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just want nice things and good sex
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
