when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
