Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
